Where's my newspaper??

When life hands you lemons.... make some Lemon-aide.

Just be careful not to spill the sugary goodness all over you pant-leg and then stand on a fire ant hill or something.

There is a Garfield cartoon out there in the world, that has a photo of the beloved grumbly cat with a rolled up newspaper saying "If today were a spider, I'd knock it into next week"

Amen, you furry lasagna lover, Amen.

Today's events actually began last night, as I was heading to bed, and I realized it was time to change the alarm clock.

We'd been getting up too late, and frankly I'd been cutting it way to close in the morning. So I took the time and the trouble to change the stupid thing.

I hate doing it, the buttons only work half the time, so you end up standing there for ten minutes until you fingers go numb and you start to daze off and forget what you're doing.

Suddenly you realize you've gone past the time you wanted in the first place so you have to hold it down for the next 50 numbers to count by ( which you would think would only take 50 seconds, but is more like three minutes.)

Chinese water torture has nothing on changing the alarm clock.

But I did change it, because I was planning ahead, and being proactive and trying to improve my life and crap.

That's how bad days usually start for me, by trying to improve it. If I would just give up and say, "Today i hope to be as crappy and unsuccessful as yesterday", I would probably achieve my goal.

But when I say, "Hey... here's a little something that might make my day run a little smoother" The world stands up and takes notice, and sticks it's foot out into the aisle just to trip me up and remind me that it was here first, it owes me nothing.

None the less, I keep trying.

So I changed the time on the alarm to a 7:30 am, instead of 8:00.

This morning as I felt the dog paw at me, i looked at the clock to figure out what ungawdly hour he was deciding he needed to go pee, and saw that it was in fact 8:05

No didn't sleep through my alarm... you can't sleep through an alarm you didn't actually set it to go off in the first place.

World : 1

Elizabeth : 0

I truck off to work. Slightly late, with not quite everything I needed done, but oh well, that's what tomorrow is for right?

I arrive at work to see my first client has canceled. I actually have nothing to do for two hours.

World : 2

Elizabeth : 0

I haul out my computer to start doing some book work, and promptly realize I can only do half of it, as I left the other half at home in my rush to get to work on time.

World.. you get no points for that. I'm pretty sure that's a hit below the belt.

So I decide to clean up a little... I scrub my wax pot clean, put in a new can of wax.

Spill the new wax on the clean pot.

Pick it up to clean it again and drizzle it all over the floor.

Just wait.... that's not the worst of it yet.

I throw the brand new can of wax in the garbage out of frustration, and scrub things clean again.

( In case you're keeping track, I've made no money yet today, as I've had no clients, and I've just thrown out $10 worth of wax, and used $5 worth of orange clean to clean up...not exactly a productive day business-wise.)

I then try to scrape the spilled wax off the floor with a popsicle stick, and get a SPLINTER!!!

From a POPSICLE STICK!!!!

Aren't they supposed to be child proof or something??

( Don't even get me started on child proof stuff.. I know it's a marketing scam that Tylenol puts a "Child Proof" cap on their pills... I get a headache just thinking about opening them.)

Finally my first client arrives. She is new, usually a good sign, as it means I'm still doing something right somewhere, to be bringing new people through my door.

She explains her mother-in-law loves me and bought her a gift certificate!

Word of mouth advertising is the best you can have.... that's great! My day is starting to improve.

World : 17

Elizabeth :1

At least it's not a shut out day.

As I go to complete the book work for the gift certificate, I realize it has never been entered in the first place, which means I have no money for that service allotted anywhere. Technically I did that service for free...

World.... screw you I'm not playing any more.