Wednesday, August 4, 2010

12 steps from channel 142

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~Lily Tomlin

I have a confession to make... I have been doing something I am not proud of... and I'm pretty sure this is something harder to kick than cocaine

(actually I swear there's a survey on that somewhere "one hundred and one things that are harder to kick than a coke habit"... but sometimes I think that's just propaganda spread by the coke dealers themselves, or maybe something smokers have made up to make them selves feel better)

They say the first step to kicking a bad habit is admitting you have a problem, so that's what I'm here for... to confess

I think I'm addicted to "The Hills".

Yea I know, the show has been on for four or five years, and I've hated it for every second.

Well every second up to about four or five weeks ago. When regular TV programming stopped playing, and MTV started doing the all day marathons of the insanely annoying and pointless show.

Since I've seen every episode of SATC multiple times, and Yard Crashers wasn't on, I started watching them.

Just like a drug addict that only wanted to try smoking it once, to see what all the fuss is about, I only tried to watch it to understand what was so great about it.

And honestly the first time, it was just as stupid and pointless as I remembered.

Then the next weekend the marathon played again. And I saw a show that had aired previous to the one I had "experimented" with before. And it started to draw me in.

But I still wasn't hooked yet... It was just something I could do occasionally, turn it on as background noise while I did the dishes.

I could turn that dial off anytime I wanted to.

I just didn't really want to.

I broke down and told a cousin of mine about this small dabble in to the world of bad reality TV. She not only admitted to watching as well, but informed me that "The Hills" was really just a starter show.

There is this other show called "The City". A spin off of "The Hills". Just as staged and lame and pointless to the point where it becomes mind numbing. Yet it was about the fashion industry.

One hit of "The City" and I was hooked. Of course, when "The City" wasn't playing, I had to settle for whatever form of reality TV I could get my hands on.

I then became obsessed. I was watching episodes over again to see what I had missed.

(That's the beauty of becoming obsessed with a show after it's been cancelled, you can always watch another episode.
You people who get hooked on shows right away mean you have to wait an entire week to get your next fix. )

I was considering the box set of entire seasons.....

I was watching "The After Show", an actual show about what just happened on the episodes that just aired.....

(Bad enough you say?? Throw in two obnoxious hosts and some staged interviews and you have something that makes the cat clawing your eyes out sound like a peaceful retreat. )

And I was justifying it....

.....Grey's isn't on.... I don't get home in time to watch Oprah.... at least I'm not watching Jerry Springer.

I really wasn't ready to admit I had a problem. But I did have a turning point last weekend.

I turned on MTV and began watching "Jersey Shore". When I started to know them by name instead of "that chubby one with the pouffy hair" I realized I was out of control.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.... now that I've put down the remote, and confessed my reality downward spiral, I need to go on to the next step and get help.

Move over Ms. Lohan, I'm next in line for Dr Drew.

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