Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

"A man on a date often wonders if he'll get lucky, a woman already knows"

So the other day my Stronger Half and I had the inevitable conversation that happens between couples this time of year....

SH- "So are we supposed to be doing something for Valentines Day?"

A hard question to answer, because neither of us really enjoy spending money, and we've done an awful lot of that in the past year, so blowing 200 bucks on dinner and a hotel seems kind of frivolous.

Especially since we've only been living in our house for 6 weeks, so it still feels a little bit like a hotel anyway.

Add to that in the fact that the Saturday before was our fundraising dance for Bust-a-Move, leaving me no time or energy for any weekend fun.

He's was informed that yes he had to come, and no attending a dance that I am organizing and working at all night does not count as a Valentines Day date.

Although it would top our previous attempts.

Last year I made a big deal out of wanting to go see a certain cheesy movie, and then at the last minute told him we didn't have to.

I meant we could go see something else. He thought I meant I didn't want to do anything at all.

So Feb 14th we wound up on his brothers couch watching a random episode of Amazing Race.

As most know, I'm not a fan of TV being a part of a relationship in general.

But worse, they have a wide screen that squishes people and makes them distorted, and it's hung above their fireplace, which for some reason makes me a little motion sick to watch it at that angle.

I was not pleased.

But I will assume half the responsibility for that failed day for my lack of communication.

The year before we were in Cuba.

Your typical beach day shenanigans ensued, and to make a long story short, I wound up at V-day dinner solo.

I'm only assuming 10% of the responsibility for that failed day, because I did supply him with the Bubba Keg, but he's a grown man and it was his choice to fill it up so many times.

So we don' t have a great record for celebrating this Hallmark holiday... but for some reason I feel the social pressure to celebrate it, so this year I feel we should try again.

I'm not one for following traditions just because everyone else does it, but perhaps it's because we don' t have an official anniversary, that I'm so fixated on celebrating our relationship at least once a year.

( We simply don' t know when our first date was, sometime at the end of June, that's all we can remember)

Although when he asked what I would like to do, my only reply I could come up with was.

"Eat Chocolate. Real Chocolate"

(This eating clean is starting to get to me.)

So short of overdosing on sugar, I couldn't really think of anything I wanted to do to mark the occasion.

Until I read this from Free Flying

Her man is awesome. I am so proud of him for his effort and creativity.

And I got very excited... that sounds like fun... then I tried to find other great ideas.

If you Google "valentines day dates" you get a lot of cheesy "I give my heart to you" type ideas of rose petals and hidden love notes.

That generally makes me want to throw up. But I pushed past that and found my top five date ideas.

(I was going for a top ten list, but my gag reflex wouldn't hold out. I could hardly find anything that didn't make me want to murder a Cherub. It is honestly why I didn't post last week, I just couldn't find anything worth laughing at.)

5.Play with Fireworks
How could you not love someone who planned a romantic evening that involved explosives??
(The only exception to this rule that I can think of is igniting flatulence. I am country, but I don't live in a barn.)

4. Go Ice Blocking
"Ice blocks can be purchased from a supermarket or (obviously) made with very little effort. Grab one of these babies and head to your nearest grassy (that’s important) hill and turn it in to a giant slide! It’s a good idea to bring a towel so you don’t have to sit directly on the ice block. And it gets old fast, so have something else planned."

hahah I had never heard of this... it is the opposite of sledding. I'm impressed that the person actually thought to point out that "grassy" is important as opposed to what? A paved hill??

And they also are kind enough to mention that it is really only fun once or twice, so you better have something else in your back pocket to entertain the girl ( May I suggest fireworks?)

3. Build and shoot a potato gun

"Again, a date that’s probably more for the guy than the girl. You can buy all of the parts you need to build a potato gun for less than 20 bucks (ammunition included!) which is a couple of PVC pipes and an ignition source (like a lantern lighter and hairspray). Good fun — a decent potato gun will go 50 yards. You can find instructions all over the internet."

This is truly a great date, he is making something with his hands ( always a turn on) and again we have playing with explosives component. Not to mention, we're doing the cleanse and can't eat potatoes anyway!! what a great way to not waste that 50pd bag we have in the bin!

2. Mini Golf

I hope at this point in our relationship he understands my love for all things miniature. Appetizers, small spoons, short dresses, and mini golf all fit on that list.

He could score extra point by creating his own course, the cheesier the better.

1. Treasure Hunt/ Relay Race

Competition gets the blood pumping and team work would strengthen your bond. Screw watching Amazing race, I want to actually DO Amazing Race...

So the ultimate date that would guaranteed to land me in the bedroom (or perhaps the hospital)

Starting with a little ice blocking, we would slid down to the balloon area.

We would then use blow darts to release the potato gun assembly instructions (learning from Free Flying's mistakes, there would be no bed jumping involved).

After assembling the potato gun, we'd have a good round of "Potato Gun Golf".

At the last hole you would have to light a series of fireworks to win the challenge.

Throw in a cup or two of hot chocolate to celebrate our win

(we would win, of course, as we would only invite other couples that we knew we could beat)

and you have yourself a masterpiece date of epic (redneck) proportions.

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